Set Them Free
by JoeyBear1424
Summary: "My mother used to tell me," Bilba says tearfully. "If you love something set it free. I see in your eyes that you don't want to be here with me. And that you want Dwalin and I'm not what you want—and I can't make you happy. Maybe you loved me long ago but I see in your eyes that I don't hold your heart anymore." Fem!Bilbo Part six of As I See It. Can be read as a standalone.


Ori never intends to hurt her when he asks to court her. He never intends to hurt her when she accepts. He never intends to hurt Bilba. Bilba knows this and she believes him. She's happy to be married to the scribe and be in this mountain with him. Even though it lacks sunshine and could do with more flowers she still likes it. Bilba and Ori spend their evening's together reading, learning Khuzdul and trading kisses and stories. There are some nights he works late at the library though and she understands. So she doesn't kick up a fuss or complain. Tonight however its long past the normal time for Ori to come home and Bilba's worried. So she goes looking for him.

She finds him in the otherwise empty library between one of the many bookshelves. The sight is like a punch to her stomach and she nearly sobs right then and there. Ori's there. And so is Dwalin. He's got her husband pinned up against the bookshelf and is kissing him. Hands are fumbling for belt buckles, clothes and buttons. Moans escape their lips and when Bilba pinches herself and it hurts she knows it's not a dream. And somehow that hurts more than the sight before her. She slips back to their apartment silently with tears streaming down her cheeks, continually pinching her arm to make sure it's not a dream. With each pinch comes a fresh wave of tears until she's home.

She stands in the middle of their apartment, her arms firmly by her side. She doesn't want to touch anything, sit on anything. For fear they've been there together—for fear Dwalin's touched it. Bilba doesn't move until Ori's home. When he steps through the door and sees her, his eyes wide and he reaches for her with fear on his face.

"Bilba what's wrong?" Ori asks and goes to hug her. "What is it?" Bilba holds up a hand and stops him abruptly.

"How many Ori?" Bilba asks and Ori pales. "How many times Ori? Did he push you up against the bookshelf and you lied to me? How many times Ori?" Bilba asks, her voice mounting with each question. Ori's face is ashen as he looks away from her and takes a cautious step back.

"He's my one," Ori mumbles weakly. Bilba scoffs weakly and shakes her head.

"Your one," Bilba mumbles. "So what does that make me? Was I just the substitute until you found your one? Until you realized? Until you found Dwalin?"

"I didn't know he was," Ori shouts. "I didn't know Bilba. I loved you. I loved you on the quest and I still do—but I—I realized Dwalin's my one and I—I'm sorry."

"Why did you ask to court me?" Bilba asks tearfully. "Why did you ask to court me Ori?"

"Because I enjoyed your company and I loved you. We got along; we would sit together and talk by the fire, knit. I never knew this was going to happen."

"You said forever when we were married," Bilba reminds him. "So when did forever become until I realize that Dwalin's my one?"

"Our wedding night when he and I danced, I knew it. But I fought the feeling because you were my wife and I loved you. And I wanted to be with you."

"But you don't," Bilba sighs and shakes her head. "Have you been with him in our bed?" Ori hesitates until finally he nods and lowers his head.

"I'm sorry," Ori whispers. "I love you and I am truly sorry." Tears stream down Ori's face now as Bilba brushes past him. Neither one of them speaks the rest of the night. Bilba sleeps on the floor of their bedroom that night with her back turned to Ori; her knees drawn up to her chest as she sobs.

Bilba wakes up the next day with a crick in her neck and a sore back to Bofur staring down at her with a grim expression. The expression on his face is clear that he knows. He opens his arms and Bilba throws herself into his arms with a ragged sob. Bofur doesn't move for a long time simply humming as he rocks her back and forth and muttering over and over that he's sorry. Bofur stays with her for several hours as Bilba cries and sniffles until her eyes and nose are puffy and red.

Bilba avoids the library and Dwalin and Balin. When she catches sight of either one she turns and runs. Balin stares at her with deep sadness in his eyes while Dwalin's expression is unreadable. The others all stare at Bilba with sympathy and Ori with expressions of fury. At first they try to work things out. But as they eat dinner together in awkward silence Bilba catches the way Ori stares longingly towards the door. When they finally attempt to kiss Ori's kisses are halfhearted and Bilba's pained. The day comes finally when Ori returns to see Bilba with her bags packed, waiting by the door.

"Bilba," Ori says carefully and takes a hesitant step towards her. Bilba shakes her head and bites her lower lip. "What are you doing?"

"You know what they say," Bilba says tearfully. "If you love something set it free. I see in your eyes that you don't want to be here with me. And that you want Dwalin and I'm not what you want—and I can't make you happy. Maybe you loved me long ago but I see in your eyes that I don't hold your hear anymore," Bilba bows and when she straightens back up tears are streaming down her cheeks. "I'm always at your service, Ori son of Kori." And without another word Bilba gathers her bags and leaves.

Ori finds that night at dinner when he sees the company that Bilba told none of the others about her leaving. Everyone is outraged and all the glares turn towards him and Dwalin. The glares don't die down for a long time and for a while the only support they seem to get comes from Balin. Bofur never quite forgives either of them nor does Nori. Ori never intended to hurt her when he asked to court her. He never intended to hurt her when she accepted. He never intended to hurt Bilba.

Bilba stops in Rivendell, dismounting with a pained groan. Lord Elrond is by her side in an instant, his eyebrows furrowed as he stares at her worriedly.

"I need help," Bilba rasps and turns towards him. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you I was coming but I need help." Lord Elrond stares at her swollen stomach and nods silently, calling for healers to come as they whisk Bilba away.

"You should have told us," Elrond scolds lightly as they work over Bilba. "This labor will be difficult."

"Just help me please," Bilba whispers and closes her eyes. "Today is the day it ends."

"Today is the day what ends?" Elrond asks and Bilba's eyes flicker open.

"I'm dying," Bilba whispers and hisses through clenched teeth as her fingers fly to her stomach. "Please just save them." Elrond nods solemnly and squeezes Bilba's hand as he and the other healers set work to on Bilba's exhausted body.

* * *

><p>Thank you so much to Sting7777; Tech Support and koreanmochi for the follow and favorite! They are greatly appreciated! There is a sequel to this<p> 


End file.
